How to Deal with a Non-Muslim Mother

How to Deal with a Non-Muslim Mother

Question
As-Salamu `alaykum! My father and I are Muslims; but my mother is a Roman Catholic and strongly believes in it. I am certain (very certain, because her faith is very strong) that she will never convert. The problem is that my mother truly believes that being a Catholic is right. Also, she does respect Islam and is a great mother and wife. So how do I go about this now? I have a strong-willed mother who truly believes in her religion, should I just leave it alone ? ( Question By Diana - United Kingdom )

Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear sister in Islam, thank you very much for your good question and we hope Allah Almighty renders such a work for His Sake, Amen.

Generally speaking, Islam orders a Muslim to be kind to his/her parents, even if they are non-Muslims. The well-known hadith of Asma’ (may Allah be pleased with her) is a clear example.Asma’, the daughter of Abu Bakr (may Allah be pleased with them all) had a non-Muslim mother who lived in Makkah, whereas Asma’ had migrated with her father and the rest of the Muslims to Madinah. After the Treaty of Hudaybiya, peace was established and they could visit each other.

So, her mother came to Madinah in order to visit her. She wanted some gifts and donations from Asma’. Asma' was not sure what to do because she knew that her mother hated Islam and was a polytheist. So she came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) informed him of the situation, and asked him if she could also maintain the ties of kinship and act kindly towards her mother. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) told her to do so saying:

“Yes, do an act of kindness to her.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari, Muslim and Abu Dawud)

Sheikh Muhammad Saleh Al-Munajjid, the prominent Saudi Islamic lecturer and author, says:

1. You should address her in the best of terms and treat her in the best manner.

2. Do not think at all that there is any burden or sin on you if your mother gets angry with you for being a Muslim. Remember that when a person pleases Allah even though it makes people angry with him, Allah will be pleased with him and will make the people pleased with him.

3. Keep on praying for your mother so that Allah guides her to the truth, and invite her to Islam with wisdom and fair exhortation. Maybe Allah will guide her through you.

Excerpted, with slight modifications from: www.islam-qa.com The best thing to do for non-Muslim parents While Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) embraced Islam, his mother continued to be an unbeliever for quite a long time. He continuously tried to convince her to adopt Islam, but to no avail. Nevertheless, he continued respecting and obeying her.

Once when he was trying to speak with her about Islam, she became insolent and uttered some insulting remarks about the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Because of this, Abu Hurayrah was very much pained. He went to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and complained saying, "O Messenger of Allah! I have always been trying to make my mother accept Islam but she always refuses to accept it. But today when I asked her to believe in Almighty Allah, she became very much annoyed and started insulting and rebuking you which I could not stand and tears came to my eyes. O Messenger of Allah! Pray to Allah that He may open the heart of my mother to Islam." The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) immediately raised his hands and prayed,
"O Almighty Allah, guide the mother of Abu Hurayrah." Abu Hurayrah was overjoyed and went home. When he reached home, he found the door was bolted from the inside but he heard the sound of flowing water, which assured him that his mother was taking a bath. Hearing his footsteps, she hastily finished the bath. Then she opened the door. She said, "O my son, Abu Hurayrah, Allah has heard you. Be witness that I recite the Shahadah.
" He started crying out of sheer joy and went back to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) with the tiding that Almighty Allah had accepted his prayer and that his mother had embraced Islam. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) was also pleased to hear that. He praised Allah and gave Abu Hurayrah some pieces of advice. Then, on his request, he prayed,"O Allah, put the love of Abu Hurayrah and his mother in the hearts of all true Muslims and put the love of all true Muslims in the hearts of both of them."

In conclusion, try to let your mother see Islam through your good example. Maybe the more you impress upon her own beliefs in a direct manner, the more she will become strong-willed and refuse to listen to you. This can pressurize her. Maybe Allah will illuminate her heart as she sees you presenting Islam in the best way.

Allah Almighty says: (But if they strive with thee to make thee ascribe unto Me as partner that of which thou hast no knowledge, then obey them not. Consort with them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who repents unto Me. Then unto Me will be your return, and I shall tell you what you used to do.) (Luqman 31: 15)