Pre-marital Relations with a Non-Muslim
Question
Dear Sheikh, As-Salamu `alaykum. My friend has a big problem and I would like to help her but how? She has a boyfriend who is very kind and she thinks that his behavior is very good, but the problem is that he isn't a Muslim. This important thing is missing, so she can't marry him. She has a bad conscience because she has a boyfriend although it is haram in Islam. She is Muslimah and she asks Allah for tawbah (repentance) and that Allah change the mind of her boyfriend so she always hopes that Allah can open his heart to accept Islam. My questions are: What should she do to stay in touch with Allah and by Islam? And is she still a Muslimah? Can Allah forgive her mistakes? She said that she will never give up Islam but her love to him is too strong. How can I help her to show her the right way?
Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Dear questioner, we would like to thank you for the great confidence you place in us. We commend your pursuit of knowledge and your care for the destiny of your friend. May Allah protect all of us against the evils of Satan and of our own selves.It is obvious that Islam does not allow Muslims to have friends from the opposite gender, whether they are Muslims or non-Muslims. Males should not have female friends and females should not have male friends. Non-mahram males and females may talk to each other, but should not socialize or go out in parties. A single male and female should never be together in a place where they are all alone, isolated without the access of any one else. Islam has given these rules to save men and women from committing sin or getting involved in situations where they might commit sin.Responding to the question, Dr. Muzammil H. Siddiqi, President of the Fiqh Council of North America, states the following:
A Muslim's love for Allah should be more than any other love. Allah says in the Qur'an, (Those who believe, they are more ardent in the love of Allah.) (Al-Baqarah 2: 165) Also Allah says: (Say: If it be that your fathers, sons, brothers, your mate or your kindred, the wealth that you have gained, the commerce for which you fear a decline or the dwellings in which you delight are more dear to you than Allah and His Messenger and striving in His path, then wait until Allah brings about His decision and Allah guides not the rebellious.) (At-Tawbah 9: 24)If your friend really loves Allah, then she should give up that which is not pleasing to Allah. It was haram for her from the beginning to be involved in this relationship. Now she should make tawbah and if her tawbah is sincere, Allah will forgive her. But she should break this relationship immediately and inform this person that she cannot marry him unless he becomes Muslim.May Allah bless her and keep us all on the right path.
