Wife Seeking Divorce for Hatred of the Husband
Question
As-Salam `Alaykum! Can a wife take divorce from her husband at any cost, even if the husband is not ready to divorce her? Then in this case, what should a wife do, bearing in mind that the husband says he will never divorce his wife and no one can do anything in this matter, but for the wife, even one day is difficult for her to stay with her husband? What should she do? Please, enlighten me on what Islam says in this case.
Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.
Sister, thank you for the confidence you have in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.
We must state clearly that dissolution of the marital bond in Islam is the most abhorrent of all permitted things, and, as such, it must be resorted to only in extreme cases of necessity. The spouses must first exhaust all efforts of proper reconciliation and mediation. If a couple tried their best to reconcile their differences, but they still could not agree and they found it impossible to live with each other, then only in that case they should separate in a proper and decent manner.
In his response to your question, the eminent Muslim scholar, Dr. `Abdul-Fattah `Ashoor, Professor of the Exegesis of the Qur'an at Al-Azhar Univ., states:
"It is out of Allah's Grace that He made us adherents to Islam, which grants women rights never given to them in any other religion or system. Among these rights is that when a wife hates her husband's companionship, she is entitled to choose between two solutions:
First: she may opt for compromise, even if she waives some of her rights as a wife to please her husband, so that they can resume their marital life and preserve their family from disunity. Allah Almighty says: "If a woman feareth ill treatment from her husband, or desertion, it is no sin for them twain if they make terms of peace between themselves. Peace is better. But greed hath been made present in the minds (of men). If ye do good and keep from evil, Lo! Allah is ever Informed of what ye do." (An-Nisa’: 128)
Second: if she does not accept this solution and finds that the continuation of the marital life would be a great burden on her, then it is her right to seek separation through Khul` , i.e. to waive her financial rights, such as the maintenance and return to him all what he has given her as mahr (dowry). Hence, either the husband gives her divorce or the Judge will have to separate her from her husband with one irrevocable divorce. So there is no place for confusion and perplexity.
However, we see that a good Muslim woman is likely to keep patient in this case, seeking Allah's guidance and imploring Him to remove such hatred of her husband from her heart, replacing it with ardent love. This is to maintain a stable matrimonial life and save the children from disunity and vagrancy."
