Fulfilling One’s Duties as a Wife: How ?

Fulfilling One’s Duties as a Wife: How ?

Question
What are the limits of the duties a wife must fulfill toward her husband so as to be considered doing an act of jihad in the cause of Allah ? ( Question By : Fatimah - Egypt )

Answer
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Thanks for your interesting question, and we implore Allah to inculcate love and affection among all Muslims husband and wives. Islam encourages both the husband and the wife to help each other live a happy and righteous life within the boundaries of Islam. The husband is required by Islam to treat his wife kindly, and by the same vein the wife is supposed to please her husband by all means possible. If the wife does so sincerely, then surely she is doing an act of jihad that is generously rewarded by Allah.

Responding to the question, the prominent Egyptian scholar Sheikh Muhammad Husain `Isa, states the following:

A woman can work a righteous deed that is equal in reward to jihad, Hajj, and zakah. This deed is illustrated in the hadith in which Asma’ bint Zayd Al-Ansariyah asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) about deeds that women can perform and get rewards equal to those of jihad, hajj, and zakah, which were mostly performed by men. Upon that, Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him) ordered her to tell all Muslim women that the wife’s fulfillment of her duties toward her husband had a reward equal to those of all the aforementioned righteous deeds. That was why Asma’ was called “Women’s Spokeswoman,” for she told the Prophet that all Muslim women wanted to ask him the same question and that she spoke on their behalf.

This shows the attitude of women during the lifetime of Allah’s Messenger (peace and blessings be upon him). They were keen on competing with men for divine rewards and for attaining Allah’s pleasure, not for attaining higher positions or being superior to men at home, as do many women today. The main concern of those true Muslim women was to please Almighty Allah.

Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) guided Asma’ to a deed of great rewards, namely fulfilling her duties toward her husband. These duties are represented in being keen on pleasing her husband, being beautiful in his eyes, caring for him, serving him, assisting him, doing all that pleases him, and fulfilling all his demands.

Among these duties is also being keen on sexually satisfying him, meeting him with a smile and warm welcome when he comes back home from work; tidying the house for him to make him comfortable; preparing the best food for him; and neatening and glamorizing herself for him in their bedroom. In this way, the wife makes her husband attached to her and to their house and makes him disinterested in other women, thus preserving her his chastity and assisting him to be righteous and obedient to Almighty Allah.

Since this is a great deed, the wife’s reward is also great, as stated by the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). The wife’s reward for fulfilling her duties towards her husband is equal to those of fighting in the cause of Allah, performing hajj, and giving in charity seeking the pleasure of Almighty Allah, the Lord

Allah’s Absolute Knowledge vs. Doctor’s Knowledge of the Fetus’ Gender

Allah’s Absolute Knowledge vs. Doctor’s Knowledge of the Fetus’ Gender

Question
Dear scholars, as-Salamu `alaykum. The Qur’an tells us that only God knows whether the child will be a male or female. But now with the latest techniques (ultra-sound, x-rays and other modern technologies), doctors can discern whether the fetus is male or female? How can we explain the authenticity of the Qur’an following this scientific achievement ? Jazakum Allah khayran. ( Question By : Mohammad- Pakistan )

Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear brother in Islam, we would like to thank you for your interesting question and the great confidence you place in us. We implore Almighty Allah to strengthen our faith and guide us to what pleases Him; He is Oft-Forgiving and Most Merciful!

First of all, we can say that doctors are able to know the gender of the fetus through x-rays and ultrasound scans, but we should realize that this knowledge is still vague and incomplete. They may make mistakes, as has happened on numerous occasions. Even if they know if the fetus is male or female, they do not know whether it will be miscarried or carried to full-term. They do not know the precise length of time that it will stay in its mother’s womb. They do not know how long this person will live, how he will behave or what his provision will be, or whether he will be of the people of Paradise or the people of Hell.

In this context, the prominent Muslim scholar, Mufti Ebrahim Desai, states:

Allah says among the five things that only Allah knows, one is, (And He knows that which is in the wombs.) (Luqman 31: 34) The word ‘that’ in the verse is general and the word ‘wombs’ is plural. Firstly, the scanning machines are not accurate. We have many experiences where the scanning machines were proven incorrect. However, if they are upgraded and are accurate, then too it is not contrary to the verse in the Qur’an. Is there any machine in the world who can simultaneously say how women in the world are pregnant at the same time? And what will be the gender of the child they will be giving birth to?

Assuming that they may produce such a machine that may meet this challenge (albeit farfetched), the world will never be able to produce a machine that can tell us the condition of all the women from the inception of mankind up to the last woman giving birth in this world. The knowledge of all that is only known by Allah and nobody else. To take it one step further, the verse doesn’t speak only about the gender of the child. It may also include the lifespan of the child, being healthy or unhealthy, rich or poor, successful or unsuccessful, all that is best known by Allah. Modern technology will never ever be able to meet these demands.

Elaborating on this issue, Sheikh Muhammad S. Al-Munajjid, a prominent Saudi Muslim lecturer and author, states the following:

Ibn `Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) says that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The keys of the Unseen are five, which no one knows except Allah: no one knows what will happen tomorrow except Allah; no one knows what is in the wombs except Allah; no one knows when it will rain except Allah; no one knows in which land he will die; and no one knows when the Hour will begin except Allah.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)

Al-Bukhari also reported this hadith with the wording: “The keys of the Unseen are five: ‘Lo! Allah! With Him is knowledge of the Hour. He sendeth down the rain, and knoweth that which is in the wombs. No soul knoweth what it will earn tomorrow, and no soul knoweth in what land it will die. Lo! Allah is Knower, Aware.’ (Luqman 31: 34)” Allah is the only One Who knows the Unseen.

He Almighty says, (Say (O Muhammad): None in the heavens and the earth knoweth the Unseen save Allah; and they know not when they will be raised (again).) (An-Naml 27: 65) The Unseen referred to in the aforementioned verse is the same as that described in surat Luqman mentioned above. Coming more closely to the issue in point, we can say that doctors are able to know the gender of the fetus through x-rays and ultrasound scans, but we should realize that this knowledge is still vague and incomplete. They may make mistakes, as has happened on numerous occasions. Moreover, they can only perform these investigations after the elapse of a certain number of weeks of pregnancy, and not before. Even if they know if the fetus is male or female, they do not know whether it will be miscarried or carried to full-term, or born alive or stillborn. They do not know the precise length of time that it will stay in its mother’s womb. They have nothing but conjecture and uncertainties. They do not know how long this person will live, how he will behave or what his provision will be, or whether he will be of the people of Paradise or the people of Hell. Knowledge of what is in the wombs is not merely a matter of knowing whether the fetus is male or female; it is broader than that, and no one can know it all except Allah.

He Almighty says, (Allah knoweth that which every female beareth and that which the wombs absorb and that which they grow. And everything with Him is measured.) (Ar-Ra`d: 8) In his Tafsir, Imam Ibn Kathir (may Allah have mercy on him) comments on this verse, saying: ‘Allah is telling us here of His complete knowledge: nothing is hidden from Him and He knows fully what the females of every species carry in their wombs. He Almighty knows whether the fetus is male or female, good or bad, destined for Paradise or doomed to Hell, have a short life or a long one. Allah Almighty says: (He is best aware of you (from the time) when He created you from the earth, and when ye were hidden in the bellies of your mothers.

Therefore ascribe not purity unto yourselves. He is best aware of him who wardeth off (evil).) (An-Najm 53: 32) Ibn Mas`ud (may Allah be pleased with him) says that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The way that each of you is created is that he is gathered in his mother’s womb for forty days and then for a similar length of time as a blood-clot and then for a similar length of time as a lump of flesh. Then an angel is sent, and he breathes the spirit into him and is charged with four commands: to write down his provision, his life span, his actions, and whether he will be wretched or happy.”

According to another narration, the angel says: “O Lord, male or female? Wretched or happy? How much provision? How long is his life span? And he writes that.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari and Muslim) Every Muslim should have firm belief, beyond any shadow of doubt, that what the Prophet (peace blessings be upon him) says is ‘wahy’ (Divine Revelation) revealed to him by Allah. Allah Almighty says: (By the Star when it setteth. Your comrade erreth not, nor is deceived;‏ Nor doth he speak of (his own) desire. It is naught save an inspiration that is inspired.) (An-Najm 53: 1-4)

Talking with Friends about Sexual Matters: Acceptable?

Talking with Friends about Sexual Matters: Acceptable ?

Question
Dear scholars, As-Salamu `alaykum. Is it permissible to socially converse with friends about sexual matters? What is one supposed to do when the topic comes up among friends? Listen, joke around with them, or walk away? Jazakum Allah khayran. ( Question By : Wahid - Andorra )

Answer
Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger.

Dear questioner, first of all, we’d like to commend you for your eagerness to get acquainted with the teachings of Islam. Thanks for the great confidence you place in us, and we implore Allah Almighty to help us serve His cause and render our work for His Sake.

Allah created the sexual desire in humans. It is as normal as is the desire for food or shelter. Like other desires that Allah created in humans, it is powerful and can overwhelm a weak human.

Sexual desire, like the desire for food, can be satisfied legally or illegally. But we have to stress that Islam is aware of educating people on the proper way of satisfying their desire in the light of its noble teachings. In seeking this knowledge, shyness does not stand as a barrier in this case, but such knowledge must be imparted in a modest and dignified manner.

Almighty Allah says, “Say (unto them, O Muhammad): Are those who know equal with those who know not? But only men of understanding will pay heed.” (Az-Zumar: 9) If the conversation is such that the topic of sex is taken lightly or joked about, it should be avoided. Also, one should not divulge details of his or her intimate conduct for the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Among those who will occupy the worst position in the Sight of Allah on the Day of Resurrection is the man who has intercourse with his wife and then spreads her secret.” (Reported by Ahmad, Abu Dawud, and Al-Bazzar)

Answering your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states:
If such conversations have any meaningful educational purpose, and they are conducted within the permitted limits of Islamic ethics governing such talks, there is nothing wrong with such talks. During the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) men and women used to raise questions relating to sexual matters in public in order to seek Islamic guidance. So you must ask yourself: Are there any tangible purposes or benefits in such conversations?

If the answer is no, then they fall definitely under the category of major sins. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) emphatically stated that there is no salvation possible unless we guard our tongues. He said, “Most people enter hell fire because of what their tongues have harvested!” He also said, “Whoever guarantees me that he will guard his private parts and his tongue and keep them pure and chaste, I will guarantee him/her paradise!” Furthermore, engaging in such conversations may also inadvertently lead people to fornication or adultery. This is why the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: “The eyes commit adultery, the tongue commits adultery, the hands commit adultery, the feet commit adultery, the private parts finally either consummate it or repudiate it!” Now coming to the final part of the question: what should a person do when faced with such situations. The answer is: you should walk away from them if possible, or change the topic. If that is not possible either, then occupy yourself with some other business and hate the thing in your own heart. Allah says that one of the traits of the Servants of the Merciful is that “When they pass by idle chatter, they pass by with dignity!” (Al-Furqan: 72).